The Edmondson Blog

Will, me, Charlie and Van up in Swansea last weekend. It was the first time us four school friends had been together for a while. We've had some happy days together.

Here's me with my Godson, Jack Gabriel Bollom. I was up in Swansea over the weekend for his christening and to see Jack's parents, my school friend Will and his wife Emma.

I've just got word that a new ride has opened at Thorpe Park in Surrey: Stealth. A review has appeared in today's Independent, which reads well. For those of you who know about my Coaster Tour with George last year, we agreed that the Top Thrill Dragster at Cedar Point was the most extreme experience we encountered. Stealth looks like it takes pant wetting to a new level.

1.Women wear high heels to bed
2.Men are never impotent
3.When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory
4.If a woman is caught masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her
5.Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm
6.Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle aged men
7.Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob
8.Women always have orgasm when men do
9.A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket
10.All women are noisy cummers
11.Those tits are real
12.A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt
13.Men always groan "oh Yes" when they cum
14.If there are two of them, they high five each other. (And the girl isn't disgusted)
15.Double penetration makes women smile
16.Asian men don't exist
17.If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't beat the shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth
18.Lesbians will always be delighted for a man to join in
19.When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt
20.Nurses suck patient's cocks
21.Men always pull out
22.When your girlfriend busts you for getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking you both
23.Women never have headaches, or periods
24.When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to suck it
25.Assholes are clean
26.A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all concerned
27.Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there
28.When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head, and the other proudly on his hip
29.Dorky guys never have to beg

Except for Commando, Full Metal Jacket has more quotable lines than any other film I've seen. Click on the link above to hear some of the best. I've now got to think how I can work some of these into phone calls...

There's only a couple of things to say here: 1. These kind of people shouldn't be playing naked Twister. 2. The guy in the white Y-fronts should be more wary of "follow throughs".

The Godfather. Rocky. Back to the Future. Not many films can claim to have sequels as good as the original. I found this tribute video on the YouTube website.