The Edmondson Blog

One of my favourite comedians, Tim Vine, is on tour next month. His routine is a stream of groan-inducing one-liners which eventualy break you down, similar to the great Bob Monkhouse. He's got the distinction of holding the world record for the most number of jokes told in one hour (449!). Typical lines include:

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

So I went to the dentist. He said 'Say Aaah.' I said 'Why?' He said 'My dog's died.

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'

I was reading this book 'The History of Glue' I couldn't put it down.

I got a job as the queen's hairdresser. The other day I parked outside Buckingham Palace and a policeman came up to me and said 'have you got a permit?' And I said 'no I've just got to take a bit off the back.'

The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room, I didn't know what to make of it.

Classic. If you know me and you want to come to see him live, get in touch!