The Edmondson Blog

Jokes From Gentler Times

Courtesy of Tommy Cooper

A woman goes to the doctor who examines her and says "You have a bad back." She says, "I want a second opinion." Ther doctor replies, "OK, you're ugly as well."

I backed a horse today at 20-1. It came in at 20 to four.

A man walks into a doctor's and says, "I've hurt my arm in a number of places." The doctor tells him, "Don't go there any more."

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but could not find any.

Two fish in a tank. One says, "You drive and I'll aim the gun."

I went to the dentist the other dsay. He said, "Say 'Ah'." I asked why. He said, "My dog's died."

Two aerials on a roof fall in love and decide to get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.

One in five people in the world are Chinese. There are five people in my family and I'm not Chinese, so it must be one of the others. It's either mum or dad, my older brother Colin or my younger brother Ho Chi Chou. I'm not sure, but I think it's Colin.

"Doctor, I cant stop singing The Green Green Grass Of Home!" He replied, "You've got Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is that common?" I asked. "It's not unusual," he answered.

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