The Edmondson Blog

What Women Actually Mean

Yes = No.
No = Maybe.
Maybe = No.
We need... = I want...
I am sorry = You'll be sorry.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to.
Do what you want = But you will pay for this later.
I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive.
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good film on TV.
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like.

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