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Glaswegian Nicknames

Who says Glasgow is a grim, humourless place? From a recent survey, here is a list of nicknames currently in use there:

Two Soups - his real name is Campbell Baxter.
Norrie Two Bunnets - the Glasgow taxi-driver who wears a wig under his cloth cap.
The Colostomy - the girlfriend of a married man (ie. the wee bag on the side).
The Boomerang Kid - whenever anyone at work asks a question, he always replies, "I'll get back to you on that."
The Parachute - lets everyone down at the last minute.
Cashline - an experienced young lass who's open 24 hours a day.
Vaseline - his real name is Willie Burns .
Rembrandt - loves saying to colleagues, "Let me put you in the picture..."
Bo Derek - a chap called Derek with terrible body odour.
Brewer's Droop - his real name is Willie Falls.
The Genie - magically appears whenever anyone opens a bottle.
Dulux - his pals reckon he's only got one coat.
Soapy - washes his hands of any problems that crop up.
Captain Hook - continually late for work, it's believed he must be scared of the alarm clock.
The Yeti - always on the sick, there have been many unconfirmed sightings of this guy, but nobody can prove he actually exists.
The Gas Man - he's serviced loads of old boilers.
The Hostage - when anyone asks for help he always replies, "Sorry, my hands are tied."
The Chernobyl Jannie - during the mid-Eighties this guy had a really bad complexion.
The Woodpecker - he's always tapping.
Mussolini - a woman in an office in Glasgow who has rather loose morals (aka the great dicktaker)

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