The Edmondson Blog

Universal Laws

  1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
  2. Law of Non-Vertical Gravity: Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
  3. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act
  4. Law of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
  5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
  6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
  7. Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
  8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
  9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
  10. Law of the Result (restated): When you try to prove to someone that a machine works, it won't.

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