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Things Confucius Might Have Said

  • Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient.
  • Passionate kiss like spider web leads to undoing of fly.
  • Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
  • Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.
  • Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg will not find nuts.
  • Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
  • Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
  • Man who eats many prunes gets good run for money.
  • War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.
  • Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
  • It takes many nails to build a crib but one screw to fill it.
  • Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
  • Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
  • Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
  • Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
And the very best:
  • A lion will not cheat on his wife but a Tiger Wood!
  • Alcohol does not solve any problem but then...neither does milk.

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