The Edmondson Blog


Eeper Weeper, chimbley sweeper,
Had a wife but couldn’t keeper.
Had annuvva, didn’t luvva,
Up the chimbley he did shuvva.


There was a man called Corkscrew Dick
Because he had a corkscrew prick.
He searched the world from front to back
To find a girl with a corkscrew crack.
But when he found her, he fell down dead,
The lady’s parts had a left hand thread*.
*More technical readers might wish to substitute metric thread, Whitworth thread, Acme thread, etc.
Hogamus, higamus
Men are polygamous;
Higamus, hogamus
Women, monogamous.


Little fly upon the wall
Ain’t you got no home at all?
Ain’t you got no mum or dad?
You bastard!
(The first three lines are recited with deepest sympathy. The last line with jubilant malice accompanied with the motion of squishing the poor fly with your thumb.)

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