The Edmondson Blog

Another Dip Into The Otford English Dictionary

Champagne (n.): a pretend hurt.
Crocus (n.): A blackbird's expletive.
Granule (proper name): Father Christmas’s mother.
Gravy (adj.): a bit like a tomb.
Hopscotch (n.): one-legged Glaswegian.
Impending (n.): the forthcoming death of a pixie.
Impolite (v.): to set a pixie on fire.
Import (n.): what posh pixies drink after dinner.
Increment (n.): stormy Chinese weather.
Intifada (n.): a flower delivery service on the West Bank.
Intoxication (n): to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
Ivy (n.): four (Latin).
Jacuzzi (proper name): Italian translation of the well known essay regarding Captain Dreyfus.
Jesi (proper name): plural of Jesus.
Jugular (n.): an amply bosomed vampire.
Kneepads (n.): turnip advertisements in Scotland.
Knick-knack (n.): an ability to steal.
Largesse (n.): S
Lavish (adj.): a bit like a toilet.
Leotard (n.): an African feline with learning difficulties.
Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp.
Malady (adj.): a bit like a duck.
Measles (n.): what artists use for self-portraits.
Megawatt (excl.): PARDON??!!
Miscomprehension (proper name): winner of the English Grammar beauty contest.
Mississippi (proper name): wife of Mr. Ippi.
Missive (adj.): extraordinarily large (South African).
Mystery (adj.): a bit like a man.
Mumps (n.): heaps of unwanted mothers.
Negligent (n.): diaphanous night attire for men.

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