The Edmondson Blog

Modern Aphorisms

  • Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
  • The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
  • Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
  • War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
  • I once prayed to God for a bike, but quickly found out he didn't work that way ... so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness
  • Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
  • If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
  • You can't be late until you show up.
  • Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way; wisdom is looking both directions anyway
  • Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
  • Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
  • The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
  • Books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay ... so if you keep reading, you'll go broke.

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