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Insults From The Days Of Great Thought

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Winston Churchill

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
Clarence Darrow.

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.
Moses Hadas

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
Oscar Wilde

I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.
Stephen Bishop

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
John Bright

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
Irvin S. Cobb

He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.
Samuel Johnson

He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.
Paul Keating

In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.
Charles, Count Talleyrand

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.
Forrest Tucker

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
Mark Twain

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
Mae West

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Oscar Wilde

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination.
Andrew Lang

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Groucho Marx

There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.
Jack E. Leonard

He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.
Robert Redford

They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.
Thomas Brackett Reed

He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
Billy Wilder

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Abraham Lincoln

A modest little person, with much to be modest about.
Winston Churchill
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If you were my husband I'd give you poison.
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill.
Madam. if you were my wife, I'd drink it.
Churchill's response.
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I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... If you have one.
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... If there is one.
Winston Churchill, in response.
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Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.
A member of Parliament to Disraeli.
That depends, Sir, on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.
Disraeli's reply.
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He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.
William Faulkner, about Ernest Hemingway.
Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?
Ernest Hemingway returning the compliment

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