The Edmondson Blog

Shitt Family

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your letter regarding the Shitt family.

Jack Shitt is the only son of Awe Shitt, the fertilizer magnate, and his wife, O Shitt. together they own Needeep N. Shitt Limited. They had one son Jack.

In turn Jack Shitt married Noe Shitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Shitt, Giva Shitt, Fulla Shitt, Bull Shitt, and the twins Deep Shitt and Dip Shitt.

Despite her parents’ objections, Deep Shitt married Dumb Shitt, a high school drop out. After being married 15 years Jack and Noe Shitt divorced.

Noe Shitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them she wanted to keep her previous name, she became known as Noe Shitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile Dip Shitt married Loda Shitt and they produced a son with rather nervous disposition named Chicken Shitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Shitt and Giva Shitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the local newspaper announced the Shitt-Happens nuptials. The Shitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Horse.

Bull Shitt left home to tour the world and recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride Pisa Shitt.

Now when someone says, “You don’t know Jack Shitt,” you can correct them.

Yours faithfully,

Crock O. Shitt

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