Ten Things Lists
Published by Rick on Monday, November 01, 2010.
Ten things we know about America from watching the movies:
- Nobody ever eats more than one mouthful from a plate of food.
- Every platoon has at least one person who can play the mouth organ.
- All young boys can reach their bedroom by climbing a convenient tree.
- Restaurants offer at least six different kinds of toast for breakfast.
- Nobody ever locks their car.
- The bedroom curtains are always left open at night.
- If there's a storm, the bedroom window is left open as well.
- Everybody goes to school until the age of 30.
- When people fall in love they go shopping in the local street market.
- Paper boys never need to get off their bicycles.
- Focus on the user and all else will follow.
- It's best to do one thing really, really well.
- Fast is better than slow.
- Democracy on the web works.
- You don't need to be at your desk to need an answer.
- You can make money without doing evil.
- There's always more information out there.
- The need for information crosses all borders.
- You can be serious without a suit.
- Great just isn't good enough.
- Women wear high heels to bed.
- Men are never impotent.
- If a woman is caught undressed by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
- Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle aged men.
- Women always have orgasm when men do
- A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket.
- Lesbians will always be delighted for a man to join in.
- Women never have headaches, or periods.
- Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
- Dorky guys never have to beg.
- Government spending buys the votes of the electorate.
- Political donations influence government policy.
- Political parties influence government policy.
- Some candidates are just better campaigners than others.
- Democracy leads to economic growth. (Or, maybe economic growth enables democracy. Or maybe they are spuriously related.)
- Autocracy leads to economic growth. (Or, maybe economic performance enables dictators to hold onto power.)
- The media is biased. (Or, maybe they are just trying to tell us what they think we want to hear.)
- Voters make choices based on their own self-interest. (Or, maybe they rationalise their choices in this way.)
- Voters choose the candidate that is closer to their own preferences.
- People are more likely to vote when they think the election will be close.
- What's that smell?
- So who's that sleeping in the box?
- I wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit.
- I would have lent him my good rope if I'd known what he was using it for!
- (To the widow) Now that you're single, how about a date?
- It must suck to be dead.
- (Crying) I guess this means I won't get my quid back.
- When do we eat?
- Can I have his car?
- Dead people look stupid.
0 Responses to “Ten Things Lists”
Post a Comment