The Edmondson Blog

Oh dear.

Question Swap is a superb website a friend told me about yesterday. It's highly addictive: you put in a question which then pops up on someone else's screen who is also on the site. They answer it for you, completely anonymously, and it's emailed back to you. I spent hours coming up with inane, useless questions, usually using pathetic gutter humour (usually involving farmyard animals, pedigree chum and my mother walking in). Highly recommended.

An article from The Register. I'll remember this one the next time I'm "strangling Kojak" (which, of course, is not often).

Great newspaper cutting being sent round. The guy's a genius!

I received a PowerPoint presentation by email the other day titled "NewPirelliCalendar.pps". On opening, it looks like every month features a picture of a fine example of the female species. On closer inspection, each month features a "naughty granny". It's all amusing, except for this one, which is a HILARIOUS. I've tried to pixelate the knackers for my younger viewers!

Hilarious news story from The Jamaica Star: some guy has turned his 'fro into what looks like a baseball cap. This is a genuine quote from the man in question:

"'Mi an dem fi go a di party but di three of them had caps an' mi had none so mi get two mirror one behind mi and di other in front of mi an' mi trim mi hair like a cap an' go a di dance,' said Housen."

Excuse me?

I didn't realise there were so many rules governing this highly specialised sport. I'm pleased Health and Safety is taken so seriously:

If a dwarf is to be thrown though a glass window or door, he (or she) must wear protective clothing, including a suitable mask.

Extinguishers must be provided nearby if a dwarf is being tossed through a burning hoop.

There must be at least three inches of water at the foot of any well a dwarf is being tossed down.

And if a dwarf is to be thrown across the path of an oncoming train, the organisers must ensure that the tosser has no personal grudge against the dwarf.

If you're looking for love today, don't despair...the Hoff still loves you! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

This must be a piss take, but it could so easily be the real deal. When I was up at Durham, you always heard rumours of plumbers being called out to deal with similar problems!!

I can't decide whether this is unbelievably rude or supremely funny. He's also got himself a pretty ropey bird.

Just returned from five great days skiing Here I am between George on the left and Will on the right. You can see more photos on Flickr.

I've been feeling a little queasy reading about how to make a hedgehog carbonara. Some guy from Cornwall called Arthur Boyt (who's favourite dish is a badger sandwich!) has brought out a book on how to cook roadkill. Absurd.

Apparently the Rolling Stones agreed to have their lyrics censored during their half time performance at the Super Bowl. I was expecting some pretty strong expletives to be cut out... The actual words cut are in brackets below:

Start Me Up
"You, you, you make a grown man cry
You, you make a dead man **** [come]"

Rough Justice
"One time you were my baby chicken
Now you've grown into a fox
And once upon a time I was your little rooster
Am I just one of your **** [cocks]?"

Wow! This is pretty lame. For a country that prides itself on free speech and has the largest adult entertainment industry in the world, this is quite feeble. If the lyrics hadn't been censored, I'm sure no one would've made a squeak! Obviously Janet's "wardrobe malfunction" two years ago changed the rules of the game (what was going on with that nipple ring??)