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More Old School Reports

More teacher comments on old school reports, as reported in The Daily Telegraph Letters to the Editor:
  • My teenage son's English report consisted of three words: "This brooding presence."
  • "He sometimes catches one's train of thought; usually by scrambling into the guard's van."
  • My wife, a teacher, received this endorsement as a pupil: "Henry Ford once said history is bunk. Yours most certainly in."
  • A Latin report: "This boy would do well on the land - if properly spread."
  • "Effortless progress, in every sense of the word."
  • My vocabulary was increased by the sole word "Slothful" in my music report.
  • Art: "John gets himself messy."
  • A chemistry master's report: "I believe he plays the oboe."
  • My school report said that I had a "don't care attitude" - and do you know what...?
  • One of the earliest school reports that my wife received described her as "a chatterbox and fidget-bottom." Nothing has changed in the intervening 60 years.

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