The Edmondson Blog

The first kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.

• This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The second kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.

• This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The third kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.

• This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
  

The forth kind of sex is called: Landing Sex.

• This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other on the landing you both say, "Screw you."

The fifth kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.

• Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very common.)
  

The sixth kind of sex is called Courtroom Sex.

• This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
  

And; Last, but not least, the seventh kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.

• You get a little each month, but not enough to enjoy yourself and everybody else complains you are getting far too much.