Not Funny At All
Published by Rick on Monday, March 28, 2011.
Those of you who know your Editor know that March is a time of much celebration with many family birthdays falling during the month. Here are some age-ist jokes:
If these doesn't apply to you yet, they will one day.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today...'
The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.'
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'
The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming up,' says the bartender
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to buy you one, too.'
The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming right up,' the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'
The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'
- - - - - - - - - - -
OLD IS WHEN ...
Your sweetheart says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"
OLD IS WHEN ...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes but you're barefoot.
OLD IS WHEN ...
A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
OLD IS WHEN ...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
OLD IS WHEN ...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
OLD IS WHEN ...
Getting a little action means you don't need to take any fibre today.
OLD IS WHEN ...
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
OLD IS WHEN ...
An all nighter means not getting up to use the bathroom.
AND ESPECIALLY, OLD IS WHEN ...
You are not sure these are jokes?
If these doesn't apply to you yet, they will one day.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today...'
The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.'
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'
The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming up,' says the bartender
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to buy you one, too.'
The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming right up,' the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'
The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'
- - - - - - - - - - -
OLD IS WHEN ...
Your sweetheart says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"
OLD IS WHEN ...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes but you're barefoot.
OLD IS WHEN ...
A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
OLD IS WHEN ...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
OLD IS WHEN ...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
OLD IS WHEN ...
Getting a little action means you don't need to take any fibre today.
OLD IS WHEN ...
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
OLD IS WHEN ...
An all nighter means not getting up to use the bathroom.
AND ESPECIALLY, OLD IS WHEN ...
You are not sure these are jokes?
0 Responses to “Not Funny At All”
Post a Comment