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Insults From The Time Of Cleverness And Wit

Lady Astor to Churchill: If you were my husband I'd give you poison!
Churchill'e reply: If you were my wife, I'd drink it.

An MP to Disraeli: Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.
Disraeli's reply: That depends on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.

George Bernard Shaw to Churchill: I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one.
Churchill's reply: Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.

William Faulkner about Ernest Hemingway: He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.
Hemingway about William Faulkner: Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?

He had delusions of adequacy.
Walter Kerr
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Churchill
I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
Clarence Darrow
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Abraham Lincoln
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
Oscar Wilde
I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.
Stephen Bishop
He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.
Samuel Johnson

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